The Mint Julep
Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 9:57 pm
There is no magic, no mystique to the mint julep. It is merely a little simple syrup, a bit of mint flavor, a glassful of ice and a great big slug of booze. You may write poems and paeans to it; extol the virtues of different varieties, combinations and amounts of fresh-picked mint leaves; specify to any desired exactness the ideal size of the ice fragments, the precise alloys of the perfect muddling spoon, or the proper size, shape, composition and ornamentation of the julep cup.
But the plain fact of the matter is that a great big slug of bourbon, dumped into that much ice and topped with a little sweet, aromatic flavoring, is going to taste about the same out of a silver chalice, a Styrofoam cup, or a porcelain pisspot. You could probably dissolve half a Life Saver in there and spare yourself the effort of combing through the Kentucky bluegrass for those perfect sprigs of mint that all the gentlemen and ladies waste so much ethanol-scented breath over.
The mint julep is merely an older generation’s version of the Jell-o shooter: a quick, socially acceptable way to get nubile, willing young things drunk. Sure, the better the bourbon the smoother the first few sips, and it’s just that much classier to use the silver service. But after their lips and tongues have gone numb from the alcohol they won’t mind. And given any luck neither will you.
But the plain fact of the matter is that a great big slug of bourbon, dumped into that much ice and topped with a little sweet, aromatic flavoring, is going to taste about the same out of a silver chalice, a Styrofoam cup, or a porcelain pisspot. You could probably dissolve half a Life Saver in there and spare yourself the effort of combing through the Kentucky bluegrass for those perfect sprigs of mint that all the gentlemen and ladies waste so much ethanol-scented breath over.
The mint julep is merely an older generation’s version of the Jell-o shooter: a quick, socially acceptable way to get nubile, willing young things drunk. Sure, the better the bourbon the smoother the first few sips, and it’s just that much classier to use the silver service. But after their lips and tongues have gone numb from the alcohol they won’t mind. And given any luck neither will you.