Say a funny joke

[Minn. Fatz]

This Vegas bank vice president, we'll call him Mr. Jones, is sitting at his desk one day when his assistant comes in.




 
"Excuse me Mr. Jones, but there's an old lady out here with a bag full of cash, she must have over 200 grand in there, and she'd like to speak with you personally about opening an account."
 
The assistant shows the old lady into the office and while the paperwork is being filled out Mr. Jones decides to make some small talk.
 
"I hope you won't mind me asking, ma'am, but how did you come to have so much cash?"
 
"This is Las Vegas, isn't it? I won it betting."
 
"I've always heard the casinos have the edge, don't they?"
 
"Sure they do. I never bet in any casino. But I'll bet on almost anything else. In fact, I'll bet you 75 thousand right now that your balls are square."
 
"Well, ma'am, I have more than a passing acquantance with them, and that doesn't seem like a very good bet for you to make."
 
"You're not afraid, are you? You know I've got the money. Is it a bet?"
 
"All right ma'am, it's a bet. How shall we settle it?"
 
"Well, it's a lot of money so I think we should do it right. How about tomorrow morning, right after the bank opens, I'll come back to see you and bring a witness so we can settle this properly."
 
"Very well ma'am," says the bank VP, figuring she's some kind of crackpot who he'll never see again.
 
But just after ten in the morning in comes the old lady towing along some tourist who's obviously had a hard night of it. In they go to Mr. Jones.
 
"Are you ready to settle our bet?" says the old lady.
 
"Certainly," replies Mr. Jones. He pulls down his trousers and drawers and stands there in all his glory.
 
"Those certainly look like some nice, round balls. But would you mind if I felt them to make sure?"
 
"Absolutely not. Be my guest."
 
The old lady's eyes glaze over a bit as she takes the bank vice president's balls in her hands. A little bit of saliva drools out the corner of her mouth and she sweats a little from her temples as she feels them all over.
 
"Yes indeed, those certainly are some nice, big, round, firm balls. Now pay up, sucker!"
 
"What do you mean pay up, you bet me 75 thousand my balls would be square!"
 
"I'm not talking to you sonny, I picked this guy up last night in a casino bar and bet him 200 thousand I'd be feeling a bank vice president's balls before noon today!"

[bigboy]

An 85 year-old man phones his doctor to discuss a problem that he is having. He tells the doctor that for the past month he has been pi**ing like a racehorse at about 6 in the morning, and then cra**ing like a pig about 10 minutes later. The doctor says "What's so bad about that, why do you consider it to be a problem?" And the old man responds: "It's a problem because i don't wake-up until 7. 

[Eduardo]

I hate when that happens. Not the poop.  That is gross.

[faygo]

Chuckles For Couples And Others.....
 
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
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Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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It's a well know fact that married men live longer than single men. So, if you want a slow death.
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An old man goes to the  wizard to ask him if he can  remove a curse he has been living with for 40 years. The wizard said he thought he could, but he would need to know the exact words that were used to put the curse on him. The old man says without hesitation, " I now pronounce you man and wife."
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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord...God, what does a million years mean to you?
The Lord replies,"A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
 
 

[vpguy3]

90 year old Mr.Jones is with the doctor and the doctor says" yes Mr.Jones that was very long and loud but I said I wanted to listen to your HEART"!!

[BOOPSAHOY]

LOL to all of them!

[faygo]

For BOOSPSAHOY: More for Couples and Others
 
Want Ad: For sale wedding dress size 8. Worn once by mistake.
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There are two times a man does't understand a woman. Before marriage and after marriage.
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The woman applying for a job in a FLA. lemon grove seemed way to qualified for the job.
"Look Miss, said the Foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?"  "Well as a matter of fact I do, I've been divorced three times.
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Reason why It's hard to solve a Reneck murder: All the DNA is the same.
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Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and Dogs should just relax and get used to the idea.
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John was on his death bed  and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request dear."
"Of course , John ," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," he said, "Iwant you to marry Bob.
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
With his last breath John said, "I do"
 
 

[BOOPSAHOY]

Thanks faygo-those were funny! LOL

[faygo]

Thanks faygo-those were funny! LOL

Your welcome. Don't encourage me too much. I got a bunch of then.

Eduardo, you started this, haven't heard from you in awhile?

[BOOPSAHOY]

Yes! Eduardo where are you??