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Say a funny joke
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EDC1977
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 2001
- Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:12 pm
Re: Say a funny joke
rolanddude. Honorable mention goes to scorpio for being almost as persistent but unable to work with the numbers like roland did. Give em credit for being like gnats in the reading room.
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cddenver
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 2269
- Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:54 pm
rolanddude. Honorable mention goes to scorpio for being almost as persistent but unable to work with the numbers like roland did. Give em credit for being like gnats in the reading room.
Dadgum it, Cat, you stole my thunder. I saw there was a new post sitting here and I was going to put a one-worder in.
But I did have a funny that could go in this section. I've been making my own ARTT sheet using the instructions and examples that New2vp provided. Had a couple of questions and he was nice enough to give me some personal training and now I'm finished with it. He said it would take 2-3 hours; with the time I put in on it I figure that I'm about 1/3 as smart as he is.
Dadgum it, Cat, you stole my thunder. I saw there was a new post sitting here and I was going to put a one-worder in.
But I did have a funny that could go in this section. I've been making my own ARTT sheet using the instructions and examples that New2vp provided. Had a couple of questions and he was nice enough to give me some personal training and now I'm finished with it. He said it would take 2-3 hours; with the time I put in on it I figure that I'm about 1/3 as smart as he is.
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MikeA
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 1615
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
Some of these are older than I am, but still got a belly laugh out of a couple of them.
Children's Science Exam (and answers so you won't have to dig out the encyclopedia for them.)
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A:He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Children's Science Exam (and answers so you won't have to dig out the encyclopedia for them.)
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A:He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
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cddenver
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 2269
- Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:54 pm
Some of these are older than I am, but still got a belly laugh out of a couple of them.
Speaking of MikeA belly laughs -
How's Mr. Skunk doing? Did that ever get resolved?
Speaking of MikeA belly laughs -
How's Mr. Skunk doing? Did that ever get resolved?
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MikeA
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 1615
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
[QUOTE=MikeA]Some of these are older than I am, but still got a belly laugh out of a couple of them.
Speaking of MikeA belly laughs -
How's Mr. Skunk doing? Did that ever get resolved?[/QUOTE]
I hadn't thought about that all winter! Seems to be "gone". I have the access to the "cave" under the deck of the swimming pool covered with no possibility of anything larger than a flea getting in there. I'll need to fill it in with something more aesthetic than TIN and BRICKS once Spring gets here though.
But I've seen no signs of returning occupancy.
Speaking of MikeA belly laughs -
How's Mr. Skunk doing? Did that ever get resolved?[/QUOTE]
I hadn't thought about that all winter! Seems to be "gone". I have the access to the "cave" under the deck of the swimming pool covered with no possibility of anything larger than a flea getting in there. I'll need to fill it in with something more aesthetic than TIN and BRICKS once Spring gets here though.
But I've seen no signs of returning occupancy.
