Say a funny joke

[rascal]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather died.....not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car.

[vpguy3]

Three nuns were at a hockey game. Three men were sitting directly
> behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking their view,
> the men decided to badger the nuns hoping they would get annonyed and
> move to another section.
>
>
> In a very loud voice, the first guy said, " I think I'm going to go
> to Utah... there are only 100 nuns living there."
>
>
> Then the second guy spoke up and said, " I think I'm going to go to
> Montana ....there are only 50 nuns there."
>
>
> The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns there."
>
> One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men and in a very sweet calm
> voice said, "Why don't you all go to Hell There aren't any nuns there."

[oej719]

Yes! Eduardo where are you??
Let us hope he did not go to Vegas to meet Fa La La La La.... La la la la.
That would be a waste of time and bankroll.
The old grey matter would die off some too.

[Eduardo]

I am here! I just do not have any new jokes to tell. I did read all these though and they are very good. I will tell some to my family. Okay, I will make up a joke instead. Guy is losing lots on video poker and his wife comes up.  He says "Honey I lost it all, all that's left is this one quarter."Wife takes the quarter from his hand and hits him on top of his head with it as hard as she can then gives the quarter back. "Ouch! What did you do that for?""Before all you had was a quarter.  Now you have a quarter AND a bump on the head.  Either way we'll go home with something."

[BOOPSAHOY]

LOL Eduardo! Im going to use that the next time my hubby is losing!!
Barb

[Minn. Fatz]

So this fellow has been married more than a few years. One day he comes home to find his wife in their bedroom packing a suitcase.
 
"What's up, honey?"
 
"I'm moving to Alaska!"
 
"To Alaska?"
 
"That's right, I'm going to Alaska to turn whore! I hear that a gal earns a hundred bucks every time she puts out up there."
 
Stunned, the husband sits down on the bed. He thinks it over a while, then gets out his own suitcase and starts packing his things.
 
"What are you doing that for?" his wife asks.
 
"I'm coming with you. Life's gotta be something else in Alaska if you can live up there on a hundred bucks a month!"

[faygo]

Lady takes a baby to the Doctor for a checkup. The doctor checks the baby and determines he is underweight for his age. The Doctor asks the Lady how the Baby is fed, Breast or Bottle. The lady says Breast fed. The doctor tells the Lady to strip to the waist. he then procedes to massage, knead, pull on her nipples and says "No wonder he is underweight there is'nt any milk.
The lady says I know, I'm the Grandmother, but I'm glad I brought him in today.

[oej719]

A guy sat in a bar ordering one drink after another.
The bartender asks " Is everything okay ,pal?"
"My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn't talking to me for a month!"
Trying to put a positive spin on things the bartender said "Well maybe that's kind of a good thing, You know a little peace and quiet?"
"Yeah, but today is the last day"

[BOOPSAHOY]

LOL oej719!

[cddenver]

 
"Why do husbands die before their wives?   Because they want to!"