Stupid Things We Say at the Border

[marie meijer]

I needed a laugh and created my own. I sensed my husband was a tad unhappy with the time I was spending on the computer. So I headed to  Caesars Windsor Casino today after sending him to a car show. It's no biggie but I write this so you will know to just shut up at the border unless asked to speak. The official on the Canadian side was young and congenial. When a yellow paper popped out of the machine, splitting in two, for a random search, I blurted out "Oh nooooo" She placed the halves under my windshield wiper. "Why did you say 'Oh no'" she asked. Retracting was not an option so I opted for the truth. "It's just that I do not have very much time." She paused, expecting more of an explanation. "My husband has a tooth infection and is on antibiotics". "You'll have more time if we do not stand here talking" she said. She directed me to a parking garage for the search. I sorta hoped she meant for the car. I have already posted about an unwelcome physical search at Metro airport on our last trip to Vegas."I did not rip that paper" I blurted out to the inspector as he took the yellow papers. It took all of a few seconds for him to check the few contents under the hatch back. "We swim every day and that is why there are towels and suits" I volunteered, totally unnecessarily. I was prepared to say the black cases housed binoculars for concerts. I was prepared to say the hammer under the driver's seat is for smashing a window at the outside chance we end up in one of Michigan's kazillion lakes.Anyhow this yellow paper random search at another location was a first for me. I do not know if this is a new policy.

[faygo]

marie, luck of the draw. They have some kind of "RNG" that has the Agent send you for a search.  Tanqueray and I had two of those. 
Usually the answer, to the question,"Where are you going?" "To the casino ", gets you right through. Never ever , volunteer more info then they ask you to provide. Oh and yes we went through a search on the US side once. Thankfully it wasn't the night we came back loaded with $s
 
 

[marie meijer]

marie,Never ever, volunteer more info then they ask you to provide. 
 
 Thanks faygo, I can count on you for the right answers. I knew that but apparently that yellow random search paper put me on edge as something unusual and made me talkative. I also laugh a lot when nervous or do not know what else to say or do. Usually this works in my favor.They asked how much money I had on me, going over and what I had won, coming back to MI. "How long will you be there?" is another often asked question.

[Lucky Larry]

marie,

Luck of the draw.    

Several years ago a large group of the family stayed on Galveston Island for a weekend. The talk moved to going to the casino (three hours away via a ferry) from Galveston back to the Texas mainland and then to Louisiana. Into the van we go and then into the ferry line that sometimes takes an hour or more on a weekend. We see Customs/security guards moving down the row and begin the jokes. Guess who gets chosen for a complete vehicle inspection. Yeah, we're pulled off to the side - inspected top to bottom and inside and out. As a reward for the inconvenience Customs puts at the front of the ferry line. Way to go Customs!

Like a RF, when its your time, its your time!

I will say Canadian Customs is the most thorough. Going to Vancouver from Seattle we gave them our itinerary. We were then questioned about every stop, the rental car, etc. On the way back using the ferry from Victoria to Seattle the US Customs agent asked how we liked living in Texas.

[marie meijer]

Thanks for the fun story, L L. What you write about customs is interesting. I have found the opposite to be true for me. Usually it's a breeze entering Canada and the US customs inspectors have been more thorough both verbally and glancing in the back windows of my vehicle.Moons ago, we breezed into Canada with a full size van and RV, three sons and a dog. The long haired "hippy" type guy was stopped and the rusty van seats were pulled out, etc. Talk about profiling and stereotyping!

[mightwin]

Customs officials are a fun bunch - no sense of humor.  Coming from Germany one year, we had to go through Chicago's airport customs.  While waiting for our bags, Mom was almost tackled by customs.  Someone was taking pictures in the area and they saw she was carrying a camera bag.  I ran towards her to see what the problem was.  I explained to the officers that she couldn't have taken a picture, I had the camera, she had the film and lenses.  While we were talking another flash goes off, and they blinked wondering how we were able to take a picture with them standing there.  I pointed to the man taking a picture 10 feet away.  I'm so glad I was able to help them find the law-breaker (not).
 
I have a few other stories but will only mention one other that sticks out.  Again coming from Germany, customs searched through everything of ours.  On the declaration form it asks if we had meat, I checked no.  The grumpy official held up a jar of herring and asked me why I lied, and continued ripping through everything.  I told him it asked about meat, that was fish, I didn't lie.  Thankfully he missed the switchblade I put in a sock because he was deadset on finding more food....
 
 

[marie meijer]

Great stories, mightwin. Thanks for sharing!While waiting in line for VP tournament at MGM, IRENE mentioned a weird experience she had at the border. She was coming back to Michigan from Canada, a long time ago. She had just recently had a valium stress test.  Chemicals or whatever in her body triggered off the black box security beeper. She also triggered off that beeper for her husband in the next room. When she was moved two rooms away, the beeper no longer sounded for him. FYI: Poppy seeds in cup cakes or bread can trigger off a positive drug test.Irene also mentioned that she was told at the border on another trip that the guard did not have to let her back in Michigan. Irene had a COPY of her birth certificate that also was notarized and had the state raised seal on it. She was told she needed the original birth certificate. This does not sound right. However, a birth certificate and current driver's license will no longer work at the border. You need either a passport, EDL or ESID card.

[marie meijer]

Someone on chat recently asked about an alternative to having a passport to enter Canada. An ENHANCED DRIVERS LICENSE, EDL, will get you into Canada as well as Bermuda, Mexico and the Caribbean. This costs $45 and an ENHANCED STATE ID CARD, for those who have given up their drivers licenses, runs $30. A passport is $100 and takes 4-6 weeks to receive. For more info: www.Michigan.gov/sos  RFID chips in that EDL emit your info and the internet has info on blockers that prevent ID theft from RFID chips in that EDL. identitystronghold.com

[faygo]

The plan was, if we hit a major jackpot, to have someone boat over to Duffy's and one of us take the boat home. Heck the Rum Runners got away with it during prohibition. The garage across the street from me, on a canal, had a basement where they used to pull right in. Those were the days.