Trouble at the US - CANADIAN Border again

[marie meijer]

As we were about to enter Detroit from Windsor and the tunnel, we watched the car ahead of us being thoroughly searched. We saw the flashing lights of the Detroit police car apprehend that driver, just beyond the border guard station. We have no idea what that problem involved. Would YOU like to pay a $300 fine for an illegal grape, baby carrot or bruised, dried out, inedible clementine? For the second offense, the fine would be $500. per item. in addition to the item being confiscated! NOW, we know this and you do, too!The guard established that we had spent the night at the Windsor casino. He asked if we had any firearms, tobacco or alcohol in the trunk. My husband replied there was nothing in the trunk. He meant no firearms, tobacco or alcohol. (The only things in our hatch back were our luggage and two bags of food!) He took our keys and went to check out our hatch back. I remembered the food and I blurted out there were two clementines, and then he was out of ear shot. ZIP, ZIP was the sound of our luggage being opened and our laundry inspected with the gloves that had handled everyone else's laundry that day. "What are these little orange things?" he called from the back of the car. Those are the clementines I told you about! He appeared at the window and asked where we had purchased the grapes. OH NO, I had forgotten about the grapes! My husband had purchased them at home, a few days earlier, at Meijers. Who carries around a grocery receipt, I ask you! "These grapes are from Chile!" he sputtered. Neither of us were aware of the source, apparently printed on the clear plastic bag. "Why did you lie about nothing being in the trunk" "Why did you lie about two clementines when there are three?" "For the first offense it is a $300 fine per item." That would be $900 for the three clementines. I figured there were 20-30 small grapes in that package. There were probably another 20-30 baby carrots in another plastic bag. Do the math: What's 63 X $300? That would bank roll a lot of fun casino trips. He was all business, stern and very scary! Our fine could have been $18, 900. OR merely $1500 if he counted the BAG of carrots and BAG of grapes as only TWO items.Desparate, we blurted out that we have to carry food at all times to control a medical problem. The meds have to be taken with food, naming the problem and prescription and the worst case scenario if food is not available/consumed when needed. This played out better than Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First!" He snapped "The government does not care about your physical condition! It only cares about what is forbidden! I have to confiscate the grapes and oranges!" We could see him tossing our fruit in the trash can from our rear view mirrors. Finally, he said he was letting us off with a warning but the fine next time would be $300 per item!After we returned home, we discovered he left the baby carrots for us! Just maybe he has a heart after all!

[faygo]

marie, only you!

[marie meijer]

I know, faygo. Hubby was beyond the boiling point. I had visions of him trying to punch that border guard. We were both wearing thick, warm, down jackets that could serve as air bags! I kept jabbing him with my elbow as hard as I could so he could feel the warning to keep COOL! We were already deep in enough trouble!

[Lucky Larry]

marie,
I loved your Border Crossing story. Thank gosh we don't have the same problem going from Tx to La and back.   

Our previous three land crossings of the US/Canada border have been painless although Canadian customs has been very thorough. Our first driving trip into Canada took us 10 minutes and I was ready to prove what type of underwear I had to convince the guard it was a vacation trip. Rental card agreement, itinerary, reservation confirmations and all didn't seem to convince him we were tourist.   Of course our license showed we were from Texas.

[marie meijer]

TY LL, Approx 96% of our border crossings have been smooth sailing. Only once was there a slight problem going INTO Canada and I can blame myself for inadvertently causing that one. I understand that those guards are there for our own good, as are airport security guards. Most of the guards we have seen are pleasant, courteous and helpful. There is a potential element for risk in their work from every car. 

[BillyJoe]

Next Time, MM, you and hubby should just strip naked and WALK across the border..

[marie meijer]

Thank you, Billy, what a sterling idea! I knew I could count on you for sympathy and a brilliant solution to our problems! However, they might notice us carrying two bags of forbidden fruit! Further, it is a tad cooler here than in your sunshine state! The water in that tunnel turns to ice, this time of year!When our son ran the Detroit Marathon, they ran across that Ambassador Bridge and back through the tunnel. Normally, there is NO WAY anyone can walk through that tunnel with one narrow lane of traffic in each direction.

[luigi1]

Billy's right Marie, since you tasted the forbidden fruits you should cross the border with strategically placed fig leafs. 

[BOOPSAHOY]

It drives me crazy when the bother people like you when there are REAL SMUGGLERS out there!

[marie meijer]

Luigi1, I can see that you have crossed over to the dark side. Normally, I could expect you to help fight my battles and come up with a snappy retort  to put the likes of Billy in his place!