Say a funny joke

[shadowman]

Hey, scorp. You now have a chance to prove to yourself whether RS is truthful or not. Sit down on any machine and keep track of those 4 cards holds. If at least 50% are not repeats then you will know he has been lying to you. So, head out ot your fav casino and give it a try.  

[cddenver]

Scorpio wouldn't even see a quarter of those dropped cards come back on the draw, let alone half.
 
I'll be playing tomorrow and will do a rough-cut check like what SM described.
 
Some of the other forum members get around to other sites more than I do.  I'm still worried about the VP suicides that RS said would come up because of his new information.  Anyone seen anything from Bob Dancer today?  Jean Scott?  They ok?  Just checking. 

[EDC1977]

A newlywed wife decides she's going to surprise her new hubby with a sheer gown and crotchless underwear. When the husband walks in, she purrs to him, come to me and get some of this. He replies, are you kidding? Look what it did to your undershorts!

[EDC1977]

A worried cowhand came running up to the rancher and yells "one of the steer just ate some dynamite!" The rancher calmly replied,"why thats abominable!"

[faygo]

A worried cowhand came running up to the rancher and yells "one of the steer just ate some dynamite!" The rancher calmly replied,"why thats abominable!"

 
Groan! I know you don't write them , you just tell them. (Rimshot)

[EDC1977]

The son sat awestruck admiring his father work magic with his hands as he did his woodworking. He admired his handy work, his skills, his tools. His tools? The Father calmly said to the son "someday, this awl will be yours!"

[cddenver]

The son sat awestruck admiring his father work magic with his hands as he did his woodworking. He admired his handy work, his skills, his tools. His tools? The Father calmly said to the son "someday, this awl will be yours!"
 
I didn't get that one at first, but then I picked up my hammer and saw.
 
(Double rimshot)

[BOOPSAHOY]

triple rimshot cd!

[shadowman]

Here's one making the rounds (so to speak). I have seen it before:
 

 Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and  says, 'How's the singing career going?'  Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?'
 
Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now.' Stevie says, 'I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.'
 
Tiger says, 'You play GOLF?' Stevie says, 'Yes, I've been playing for years'.
 
Tiger says, 'But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?'
 
Stevie Wonder replies, 'Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green  or farther down the fairway and
again I play the ball towards his voice.' 'But, how do you putt?' asks Tiger
 
'Well', says Stevie, 'I get my caddy to  lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.'
 
Tiger asks, 'What's your handicap?' Stevie says, 'Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer.'
 
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, 'We've got to play a round sometime.'
 
Wonder replies, 'Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. That a problem?'
 
Woods thinks about it and says, 'OK, I'm game for that.  $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to  play?'
 
Stevie says, 'Pick a night'

[Lizzy15]

Farmer Jim needed his sows bred, so he loaded them in his truck and went down the road to Farmer Vic's who had a prize winning boar. When the sows were picked up later, Farmer Vic told Farmer Jim to look out his window at 7AM the next morning. If the pigs were down in the mud, then they were pregnant. If he saw them up on the hill, then they were not.So Farmer Jim sets his alarm clock and jumps out of bed at 7AM sharp the next morning. He quickly looks down in the mud pit and there were no pigs to be seen. So he glanced up on the hill and sure enough, there they were.A little dismayed, Farmer Jim loaded the sows back up and drove them over to Farmer Vic's to try again.Back at home the next morning, Farmer Jim awakens. He hears his wife in the kitchen, then briefly looks at the clock to see that the alarm had not gone off and it was already 7:30AM. He instantly yells to his wife, "Mary! Quick look out the window and tell me if the pigs are down in the mud!" She says "No" and he says, "Oh, then they're up on the hill?" And Mary says, "No, they're in the truck, honking the horn."