Help me help my wife

[Boilermaker]

My wife is a gambling junkie. Slot machines, scratch-off's, and lottery tickets. I've taken her to GA meetings many times over the years and she'll quit for a while (once for 6 weeks) then she's back on it again. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be on the road for 4 months making and sending money home only to find upon my return the kids are hungry, credit card companies are screaming, the car has been repo'd and the bank is threatening foreclosure again. It's embarassing as hell to have to send your paycheck to your brother and have him pay your bills and put your wife on an allowance. There ain't nothing like getting called by the police in the middle of the night when you're a thousand miles from home because the neighbor was worried about your kids being home alone. Probably the lowest was when I had to look at my wife through visitation glass at the county clink because she took a side job for gambling money.
 
My wife isn't a monster. She's very loving and very sweet. She goes to church every Sunday without fail. When the bug doesn't have a hold of her she takes excellent care of our children. She keeps a clean house and is a fine cook. Never touches alcohol, she don't smoke, nor does she swear.  I love her with all my heart, not once in our many years together did I stray. Though there were times we went months without seeing each other because of the job I choose to do.
 
My wife only has one unshakeable vice, gambling. Years of counseling, therapy, support, and one inpatient treatment facility have done nothing. We've prayed on it and asked God's help to no avail.
 
I'm a practical man, I know my wife will always be a gambler. In this spirit of practicality I'm looking for a gambling game where she can lose less, or possibly break even. From what I've read it appears video poker might be that game. All I know about gambling is the heartache it has caused my family. I know little to nothing of the mechanics of the game. What I'd like to know is this. If I give my wife my blessing to play video poker, provided she forsake other forms of gambling, will we come out better than we are right now? 
 
At this point I've realized God made her what she is and that all we can do is cope with her problem. She won't be able to beat it.
 
I thank you kindly for reading this.

[MikeA]

It sounds like you are seeking the right kind of professionsl help so keep in mind that accepting anything off of a gambling forum such as this should be done with caution and an attitude that you're not going to get much of anything worthwhile from the members here that will address the issue of the problems you and your wife are having other than answer specific questions about the Casino Games themselves.But to get to the objective question of VP being a "game" your wife can play that would lead to less loss....it's possible.  But, it's still gambling no matter how you look at it and you (or your wife) are going to see times when losses occur as well as winning sessions.  Over the long haul, if a player is selecting games that have an expected return of 100% or higher, an overall profit might be anticipated.The thing we have always stressed here on this forum though is that with VP, there is a factor called "Variance."  That is the percentage of the time that your actual results deviate from what the expected results are for any particular game.  With VP, that variance factor can range from around 19% for 9/6 Jacks or Better up to 42% for a game like 10/6 Double Double Bonus.  On JOB, the Expected Return is around 99.5% and on DDB somewhere around 100.07%.  With those variance factors, you can see that the player is going to have sequences of trips to the casino where there is a significant win and trips with significant loses.  Of course to achieve those Expected Returns, your wife is going to have to learn Perfect Basic Strategy for whichever game she chooses.As far as I know, VP and Blackjack are the only two games left in the casino that will allow the player in certain circumstances to actually have an advantage over the Casino.  As stated before though, neither game will allow a player to validly assume that they WILL win on any particular game.

[bigboy]

It's possible, but unfortunately not highly likely. Depending upon your location, full-pay v.p. games may be available. However, she would need to have the discipline to learn the game perfectly and play it accordingly. If the casino eliminates that game, what will she do?? Most probably, she will play whatever is available. IMO, the state lotteries are the most insidious of all, as there is no real mechanism by which someone can "bar" themselves from playing. The casinos achilles heel is that they do not get involved in cash advance transactions. If a patron wishes to take an advance 20 times in a day, fine... provided that the cash access provider approves the transaction. In their defense, most casinos do have exclusionary lists that allow for people to "bar" themselves from the property. Does your wife gamble when you are home? Does the family notice a change in her demeanor when you are away?

[rascal]

I smell a troll.....

[pokeherguy]

Me too!!!!!

[oej719]

I might suggest contacting Fa La La La La.... La la la la. He publicly says he learned to control his gambling addiction although he does not explain how. He does still gamble as a professional? He writes a loosely put together column critizing people who gamble for entertainment purposes only using the best paytables and best math strategy's possible. He is also big into betting on the NFL.
He even sells books telling about his large huge winnings playing video poker but can never so proof and gets angry upset when someone ask for proof of winnings.

On re reading this post I suggest you disregard my suggestion. Might be just the opposite of the help you are seeking. There are some good clinics there in Arizona close to you. Probably pretty expensive so you might seek govt. assistance. Sounds like you are pretty much flat broke. Maybe if you stayed home more it would help. The Phx Az area near you is booming and I am sure changing jobs is less important than saving your family.
So maybe YOUR priorites are out of line. So you change yourself and your wife will change also. Don't be to hard on her, our Pres GWB gambles himself at times.
Bottom line is you are not going to make very much money playing VP over the long haul unless you are very very lucky and then can stop playing forever. So VP is not a solution to a gambling problem. Don't believe anyone that tells you different, they have their on agenda.
It is like an alcholic deciding to drink vodka instead of whiskey or $200 a bottle tequilla if you get my point.
Heck get her play here. Its free and I never lose a penny cause I play Dancer strategy.
Best of luck Boilermaker.
Oej
The Oprah of the oil business.

[bigboy]

Let's go easy with the cynicism until something truly definitive appears, guys.

[oej719]

I smell a troll.....


What again? I think you are correct. Do they make a troll repellant in China? The desperate never stop trying until the bottom is hit. Must be getting pretty close to ground zero or even a little below in my professional opinion. Hunger and bankrupcy and the thought of living on the street will make a man grasp at almost anything.

[oej719]

Post a picture of her. Someone here may know her. She probably does a lot more than gamble if you are gone 4 months at a time. Post a photo of her.
Try a divorce lawyer. Not the one you used when filing bankruptcy.
Best of luck and do post her photograph.

[pah0106]

  Is it true GWB gambles?  What does he play and where?