Anniversary Trip to Tunica w/ Actual Tunica Pics

[Vman96]

Recently my g/f and I celebrated our anniversary in our favorite non-Vegas destination, Tunica! Figure this would be a good warmup for our upcoming Vegas trip. I promise better non-gambling pictures for that one since she loves to take pics in Vegas.

Saturday: Start with Rough Fortunes

We get to Tunica about 6:30pm, and we check-in at the Quality Inn to save money, slash take advantage of an offer where if you have 2 qualifying stays this summer, you get enough loyalty points for a $50 gift card.

Well, for the 1st qualifying trip the g/f and I went to KC over the 4th for the first qualifying stay, had a great time there, and this was the clear cut highlight of that trip. Her biggest casino hit ever! Yes, she's a bigger tightass that me...




After that, Tunica was definitely part of our future plans!

We get to Tunica, and quickly go to Hollywood since they were giving away $700 every 7 minutes that night. Supposedly it was a hot seat drawing, so that was definitely our best chance to win anything. Found that the progressive at the bar was about $1650 and immediately knew that would be the best VP here. Base games were 8/5 JoB (97.3%), 6/5 Bonus (96.87%), and 8/5 DDB (96.79%). I chose to drink Miller Fortune because it's new to me. It was alright, but had a bit of a malt liquor taste. I get off to a good start and wish I would have been playing DDB instead...lol



Eventually I chat up this black woman next to me, and I wonder if she was a hooker by the way she was talking to me. I felt like I was back in Vegas for a moment! lol The talked mellowed out when I mentioned a g/f. And she proceeded to play Keno. Unfortunately after that, my results lost their luster, but I was still up $10 when the drawings ended. Did we get called? Hell no. Someone else at the bar did though.

Go to Resorts quickly for a couple more beers and more progressive VP shots. Unfortunately, Resorts has become less appealing to my g/f because they revamped their slot selection. Many new machines which my g/f generally hates. They do not touch VP at all though, and it looks out of place as every unit is a minimum 10 years old. But at least that means the paytables didn't change! :evillaugh I take a $20 stab the main bar's ~$1500 progressive with 15/10 Double Deuces Wild (98.86% base). Nothing pic worthy though, and I'm down $10 I think. But I got a couple more beers (Budweisers, overall selection is not great), so I'm all good. Call it a night.

Sunday: Actual Tunica, and Even Worse Places!

Wake up with a nice headache. Too many of those Miller Fortunes I think. Eat the hotel's continental breakfast, consume some Advil and begin to recover. Now on our many trips to Tunica, I have occasionally noticed signs advertising "Isle of Capri Lula". We didn't have a huge agenda today, so I suggest we go there for something "different". Well, it was "different" alright. On the way there, you had to drive through actual Tunica, so we slightly deviated from US 61 since we have never been there. Will we be going back...meh, not unless we have a huge McDonald's craving.

Welcome...I guess


Post Office...could be worse...


Random Tunica House. Some of these houses were actually nicer than this one, but I sucked at taking pics in motion slash tons of trees/bushes tended to surround the houses.


So going past Tunica, the GPS tells us to continue on US 61, and turn at the next light. But the next light it about 20 more miles. We turn and now drive on the worst US Hwy I've ever seen, US 49. The speed limit was 55, but we were often going 45 because the road was terrible. Another 15 minutes of crappy drive. We make it to "Lula". We saw nothing but a rest stop between actual Tunica and Lula. Exciting!

Yeah, right...why was I such a sucker?






One of the nicer cars I have seen at any locals casino. And this is definitely a locals place. There is a town of 10,000 in Arkansas right across the river called Helena-West Helena, which we end up visiting afterward...



The nicest looking part of the casino.


The actual casino was divided into two mini casinos which looked fairly run down. I visit the first "half" and find no video poker, except in the high limit room. I see a "Cats" machine to try, yeah $5 didn't last too long there. Wonder over to the other half, and this is the main casino. Has VP, one bar, a few tables along with mostly slots. We also see something rare in a casino:



But, the cartridges were so used up at the time, you couldn't even get a regular Coke from it...wtf???

So after all this luck so far, I was shocked to see "full-pay video poker". Every dollar game king on the floor had 9/6 Jacks (99.54%) plus 9 other "good games". Their best game is 8/5 Super DDB (99.69%) followed by 9/6 Bonus Deluxe (99.64%). Now most of these machines were shorted at the 25c, 50c levels, but I found two machines that had all these games for quarters. So I make a quick stab at Bonus Deluxe.

Hit this to be willing to break even. If you stare at the bottom right corner of the machine, the screen might explain why the game is full pay at all denominations available vs. the others. It looks like it might keel over at any moment.



So at this point we have definitely overstayed our welcome, but we decide to cross the river over to Helena because we went this far...what's another 5 minutes? Silly us.

I didn't expect to see you until Tuesday!!


This is a universal sign meaning, "Turn the F*** Around":



But did we do this? No.

We drive 5 more miles of mostly destitute looking things, except for one Bed and Breakfast I couldn't get a good pic of. It was also home to a Civil War Fort, but no way I was getting out of the car to snap pics. Downtown was nearly entirely closed, and mostly abandoned shops. We were one of the few people driving in the entire town.

We make the decision to head back, and on the way back, a black woman points a rifle at us from her porch from about 50 feet and acts like she shoots it at us. I don't think anything was shot because we didn't hear a thing. But WTF???

One of the nicest looking things in this town was their rest stop right across the state line:


G/f had to go to the bathroom and she apparently gets cornered by the visitor center lady. This lady apparently wanted to take her on a personal tour of the hellhole we just witnessed. No thank you!!!

Who would have thought I would have been happy to see this state flag again...


We get back to Tunica, ahem, I mean Robinsonville. Stop by the strip mall...zzz And decide to go to the Fitz snack bar for a Philly cheesesteak. But decide to take a different route to get there.

RIP Harrahs:


Cheesesteak was excellent and an awesome value as usual, but the casino was a tease for our hit-n-run session (planned to come back tomorrow).


Now it's about 3:30pm, so we need to head to the nicest hotel in Tunica to check into our "free" room at Gold Strike. Thanks myVegas! Jasmine checked us in, and before I know it, I get a bit crap from her wearing my "Sam's Town" shirt. Well, maybe I would wear a Gold Strike t-shirt if they would give me one! This shirt would be ~bad luck for the most part. I think I was IDed a record number of times in Tunica while wearing it. I think I was asked for ID 5 times while wearing at age 34! The Horseshoe security guy also gave me crap for wearing it! Dammit!

We hit the pool area a bit. Lot smaller than I expected given the size of the hotel. It worked. But hottubs were a little hot for our liking. Get ready for the Tunica Roadhouse slot tourney. g/f and I get assigned next to each other which was nice, but we both fail. Stop by the Double STP machines the Roadhouse has for a bit and run into a couple locals that are more addicted to the game than I am. I have seen them there at some point my last 3 trips. They're friendly though, so we chat a bit, and I ask how their room offers have held up since Harrahs closed. Yeah unfortunately, they don't get them now. They don't gamble enough to get them. And they often play 5 play nickel Double STP for 6ish hours when they show up with a nasty 7/5 DDB paytable (95.71%; 96.20% w/DSTP). Not like they absolutely need the rooms, but they live about 45 minutes away, and enjoyed staying the night occasionally. Harrah's Tunica was a huge loss for low-rollers like them, and fleas like us. Also in our chat, I learned from them that waitresses remember me as the "Budweiser guy", yeah, Roadhouse sucks for beer selection too.

I say my goodbyes to them and we use another myVegas award and get free buffets at "Buffet Americana". We had to wait in line at the Milfe desk for about 10 minutes because there was a huge group from MGM Grand Detroit they flew in for a couple of days. The hotel was $50 higher than normal because of them (fortunately myVegas didn't care). We had tried the buffet last year when it first opened for lunch and it was pretty good. However I think dinner was even better overall. I definitely liked their steak and grilled chicken, so I was set on protein needs. Everything wasn't perfect though. My g/f gets a make your own pasta dish with chicken in it. The cook fails to season the chicken, and we weren't even sure it was all white meat! We sit down at 7pm and the buffet was nearly full, and it was still nearly full at 8 pm when we leave.

Now we head out to Sam's Town because it was 2X points on penny slots today, and the g/f likes pennies. I get carded at Sam's Town wearing my Sam's Town shirt. I decide to try for a bit of slots myself. I find a "True Blood" machine and try it because my mom seems to like that show. I didn't do badly from $5.



Eventually I want beer, so I settle down to Roxy's Bar for some 9/6 JoB. All VP at Sam's is bleh except this game. While I was there, some customers leave behind some food from a Mexican place in town for Todd, one of the bartenders. I thought that was a nice gesture, and Todd definitely deserves it, he's one of the hardest working bartenders in Tunica that I've seen. Your beer is only empty when you leave.

As with most Tunica casinos, Sam's also has boring selection. So I drink some Bud Light Platinums. I do decently well on the machine. This helped me win $40.

Castle Shot:


We head back to the hotel, and the g/f is not feeling it. I talk my way into playing by myself for a bit more. Work my way thru Gold Strike, Horseshoe, and Roadhouse. I didn't play much at the first two and got to the Roadhouse. Got off to a good start:



But then I move to Double STP, but I can't hit a thing. The last two hits mostly get evaporated by a long bout of nothingness. My neighbor, on the other hand, hits this on a 6/5 JoB (95.00%; maybe the worst VP there) machine...



All the while, my waitress has been feeding me Budweiser's as I am the "Budweiser guy". In the end, I move to a "Hexbreaker" machine, and lose another $8 playing that at 13 cents a whack. I even got the "Ladder Bonus"...78 cents though...lol The waitress sees me on the slot without a beer, and I mention that I can't hit a thing. She asks me if I want another one, and that it's "on her". I submit to the offer. But I tip her double instead because I appreciated the gesture. Even if you are getting killed, the Roadhouse makes you feel welcome. Much more than most Tunica casinos in my experience.

Stumble back to Gold Strike and decide to play the best VP game they offer, 9/7 Double Bonus (99.11%). 3 hours since the last quad I hit, I take this pic mostly because it's an odd hold that's sometimes correct.



I break even on that, and call it a night a lot later than I should have.

Monday: My First "Run to the Hotel Room" for Money...On Our Anniversary....

During the day, do typical non-gambling stuff to keep my g/f sane...lol Back at the Roadhouse slot tourney. The g/f gets out to a big lead, and I thought one of us might get out of the first round this time (only winner of 16 advances), but she tailed off in the end, bah. While waiting for our tourney time, get another diamond tease on my go to game at the Roadhouse 9/6/5 Double Bonus w/DSTP (97.81%; 98.30% w/DSTP).



Hit the Fitz buffet for the usual $7 Monday dinner buffet. Talk to some neighbors after their Keno machine froze up with $175 in it. Turns out they were from St. Louis. They also weren't aware drinks were "free" in Tunica. This is why Vegas charges a buttload per drink obviously. Go eat the buffet. Good for $7 as usual. They make very good custom stir fry. The chef made my Szechuan quite spicy this time though. Also watched a lady get the "poker bonus" on a "Kenny Roger's Gambler" slot machine. She gets dealt a Royal on it for 30X total bet...lol I must be good luck for others.

Go to Bally's to hit the Tunica cycle. Bally's has the best craft beer bar in all of Tunica by a long shot with roughly 20 taps. What I don't get is why Bally's? The typical Bally's gambler probably doesn't care about craft beer. Nevertheless we show up to the bar with 2 other people total there and have a couple of beers.

See this first and know I like it:


Still one of the best IPAs I've ever had. Tastes even sweeter when you hit something like this:


Along the way, we see the people from St. Louis that we met at Fitz. Now they were going to take advantage of the “free drinks”. They did note that Keno paytables were crappier though. Hell, I didn't know people actually paid attention to Keno paytables. :evillaugh

Playing one credit to be a cheap drunk at 7/5 Super DDB (97.38% min; 98.61% max) and start picturing in my head that my 22 month royalless streak ends in an undesirable way...but nope, a pity straight instead.



while working on a 2nd beer that was completely new to me:



It was a “cherrywood smoked wheat beer”; considering I like Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, thought this one might be pretty good. Meh. Not much cherry flavor, more “nutty” tasting than anything else.

Wrapping up at the bar, go to the STP machine with the highest return in all of Tunica (98.91% Deuces; 99.19% w/STP). Most of the time I try this machine, it eats my money. Not this time though:



Leave Bally's up $20. Get back to Gold Strike, g/f wants to play upstairs in the non-smoking area, I get a beer at the bar. This older lady next to me totally clueless on how to play the machine is having issues. She wants to bet cheap, so she can drink. Her daughter next to her, on one of those junkets, was the real gambler. Quickly figure out that VP is too advanced for her at the moment, so I set her on a Cleopatra 3x3 video slot to bet 5 cents a spin. While I was playing she made a comment that her purse was in her way (not really), but she moves it anyway. All of a sudden, the game's payout is $16. We're all shocked. Eventually, I noticed that she moved her purse on top of the max bet button...whoops.


I finally go upstairs to look for the g/f, and walk by a guy that hits Aces w/kicker on DDB w/3X for $1500. I am a good luck charm for everyone I think! G/f also did the best she did all trip too, but it was only 2 of these $15 hits...meh. She was pretty much a losing machine otherwise.



We make our way back to Roadhouse about 11, and I proceed to play Double STP again. Sucks away more money like it had been before, and at about 12:30...finally a quad on the thing:



Good first quad for that machine!

Follow up with this 8 minutes later:



Now I'm quite happy. G/f is tired and wants to go to bed. I'm of course am amped up over these wins and don't want to quit. I give her the ~$75 ticket so I don't do anything stupid, and have about $50 left to play on.

Thought that would be enough...well...the machine turned cold again. And then after awhile of consistent losing, I move games and don't do much better. I also take a $10 stab into the 9/6 JoB 100-penny progressive sitting at ~$900. I couldn't make better than trips.

So now I have $12 in my wallet going back to Gold Strike. I look at Ultimate X games...I find a machine worth taking a $12.50 whack at thanks to some unobservant players probably on this junket from Detroit. So I felt like a degenerate idiot going to the cashier to turn 4 quarters into a dollar. Get back to the machine. Lose $10 of $12.50. Then I find a similar opportunity. So now I feel like even a bigger degenerate as I go back up to the room for 40 more dollars. I make a good amount of noise, but my g/f didn't move at all, so I thought she was asleep. I get the $40 without saying a word. Go back down, hit these:





Definitely puts me up for the day, but my alcohol addled brain forgets how much. I think I was close to even for the trip overall, I hope! The g/f was down about $60 I think. Wind down at the bar a bit, taking my chances at 1-lining Spin Poker.



Scare myself again, but at least no royal came on the top or bottom.



Get back to the room real late again. I'm horrible, but fortunately, my g/f puts up with me. Apparently I woke her up too. And not surprisingly, she had dreams of being robbed...blah But overall we still had a good time. Next time, I guess I'll wake her up if I go back down to the room...whoops.

Didn't hit this in Tunica, but this was a bit a boost at the local casino after the trip. I think this is a pretty fun game too. It's “Big Times Draw Poker”, it's like STP, but multipliers are given based on the highest non-Ace card dealt to you, the lower the cards dealt to you, the better.



Well, that's all for this trip. Hopefully it warms me up to write up Vegas next month! I promise to have better pics from my g/f! She'll actually take Vegas Pics. No good pics to take in Tunica except gambling.           

[chattycattty]

Happy Anniversary Vman. Your trip report is kind of like a trip down memory lane for me. Since CET is not doing junkets from our area to Tunica anymore do not know when we will make it back. Sounds like you and your girlfriend had a great time. Kind of scary to have the gun pointed at you though.

[Vman96]

Yeah, that wasn't cool at all. I'm not sure it was a real rifle, but it looked close enough. We should have turned around immediately and not entered the town. Fortunately nothing bad happened. Helped wake us up for sure.

[olds442jetaway]

Your stories and pics are the best! I'll have to break down soon and learn how to take some on the phone and then get them into the computer to post. Guess I'll have to pay Verizon extra for that. No smart phone for me. My dumb flip up LG is just what I like and I have another new one put away. Let me know when that Royalless streak ends! I guess I'll take credit for that term. Also made up another one the other day for a DB post...You turned that ice cube into a snow cone or something like that. The post office looked like the best building in town. I wouldn't want to spend any time in the local holding cell though. Quite an experience the lady with the rifle either shooting or pretending. Hope it was the latter. If you guys ever get to Mohegan, make sure to look us up like Florida Phil and the Mrs. did. I'll do my best to help your trip be either a low or no budget one too.

[Lucky Larry]

Vman,
Your story of Tunica to Isle Lula almost brought us to tears laughing. Sweet C and I made the same trip a few years ago from Memphis/Tunica to try Isle Lula. We remember those same places and roads. Glad you and g/f had a good time. Happy Anniversary.

[olds442jetaway]

Sorry, I was enjoying the show and tell so much I forgot to say Happy Anniversary to the both of you.

[DaBurglar]

Yeah  congrats!And thanks for this awesome post and description of your trip....I like all these "non-Vp" pictures like the bridge, and that Police Station in the Arkansas BAckwaters!    Your comment on "Its time to turn around" was hilarious. I would NOT be surprised at all if the crazzzzzy lady with the gun on her porch actually had a real firearm pointed at you..... In that part of the country every home has some sort of firearm, and her sitting on a porch and pointing the weapon at total strangers driving by is exactly what the 2nd Amendment is all about!      I am CERTAIN our founding fathers had this in mind, albeit with a little modification, when they crafted it.....I am really looking forward to your Vegas trip report, and plan to use it to help me when I visit Vegas in October......where will you be staying and for how long?Also, what did you mean when you said "vegas charges a buttload for drinks?"    

[Vman96]

Also, what did you mean when you said "vegas charges a buttload for drinks?"     




I was relating it to the couple from St. Louis we chatted with that didn't realize drinks were free in Tunica while gambling because you have to pay in Missouri. They just assumed Tunica is the same way.

Lots of people also go to Vegas not realizing they are free when you gamble either. But the Strip really takes advantage of that now and often charges about $7 a beer if you are not playing. Don't worry, they're still free if you're playing.   


As for where we're staying, we're hotel hopping thanks to various comps. Two nights at Planet Hollywood (g/f's dad's comp). Two nights at Monte Carlo and two nights at Mandalay Bay. The latter two are from the facebook game myVegas. Unfortunately no video poker on that game though.

[djc32]

Another great trip report Vman,best of luck in Vegas!