Say a funny joke

[Eduardo]

Bubba walks into a bar and there is a washed up playwright there looking for ideas. Within 2 minutes bubba hits a royal on a video poker machine.
 
"How'd you do that?" Asks the entrepreneur.
 
"Special plays, my friend.  Special plays," and he rode off into the night.
 
One year later the playwright wins an award for Corky and Juliet.

[oej719]

Eduardo that is hilarious.
I am sure everyone here that has kept up with all this will get a real kick out of that.
You really made him look like a court jester funny hat and all.

[oej719]

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

[faygo]

Two pretzels walk into a bar. One was assualt

[Eduardo]

Two pretzels walk into a bar. One was assualt
bicyclecardplayer just told that one!

[Minn. Fatz]

A priest walks into a bar and notices one of the habitues reading a newspaper. His shirt collar is undone and covered with lipstick stains; there are several glasses in front of him and an ashtray filled with cigarette butts.
 
The priest orders a beer and sits down at the bar to drink it. After a while the barfly turns to the priest and says, "say, Father, do you happen to know what causes the gout?"
 
The priest says, "well, my son, I'm not a doctor, but I'd say too much drinking, smoking and chasing after women could give someone the gout."
 
"Is that so! Why, it says here in the paper that the Pope has the gout!"
 
***
 
A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. He finishes it, then draws a gun, fires into the air and turns to go.
 
"Hey, what's up?" the barkeep asks.
 
"I'm a panda. Look it up in the dictionary."
 
The barkeep goes to the dictionary and looks under panda. It says:
 
panda, n. A large, black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.

[faygo]

Jim ran into his friend George. George was wearing a Stove Pipe Hat and a Fake Beard. Jim asked him what that was all about. He said he was going to a Costume Party where you were  supposed  to dess up like your love life.  Jim said, but you are dressed like Abe Lincoln. George says yeah, my last four scores where seven years ago.
 
I Just tell em!

[Eduardo]

I saw that one on a popsicle stick once.  It was a really big popsicle.

[ansoda]

hillary clinton sends her daughter chelsea to the texas panhandle to do a survey on the peoples' dislikes.
she finds an old guy and his hound dog sitting on a bench on a corner and after introducing heself as hillarys daughter, she asks him, what things do you dislike the most? his reply----
   OSAMA, OBOMA, AND YO MAMA!

[faygo]

I saw that one on a popsicle stick once.  It was a really big popsicle.

Just like the print on the Readers Digest I read it in today at the Doctor's office.
 
Are you calling me a Lollypop?