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A woman ,standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".
He NEVER heard the shot.
Say a funny joke
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Eduardo
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 2963
- Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:19 pm
Okay, THAT's a joke I'm going to have to use sometime!
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MikeA
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 1615
- Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm
Okay, THAT's a joke I'm going to have to use sometime!
Not ME! I'm trying hard to totally forget it lest I actually do use it!
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bear4
- Forum Regular
- Posts: 68
- Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:59 pm
I'm still feeling some discomfort when the bullet rattles around in my empty head
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jm002546
- Senior Member
- Posts: 398
- Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:13 am
Thus arose the expression "get the lead out."
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chuck arl
- Senior Member
- Posts: 107
- Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:39 am
as Rodney D. would say,"If it wasn't for pickpockets, I wouldn't have any sex life at all!"---CWA---
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oej719
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 1777
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 5:46 pm
If big breasted gals work at hooters, where do one legged gals work?
I HOP!!!!!
I HOP!!!!!
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faygo
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 2925
- Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:55 am
Sven and Ole went into the garbage hauling business. All they had for a truck was Sven's 1949 Ford pickup with the grain sides on it. They had just filled it to the top and started out for the dump when they were stopped by a Patrolman. Garbage was blowing off the top of their load, the officer said, if they didn't find a way to hold it down, he was going to give them a ticket. So, Ole climbed up on top and sprawled spread-eagle over the garbage.
Soon they drove under a bridge. Two Swedes standing on the bridge saw this sight pass beneath them. One remarked, "Vell vould you look at dat! Someboty trew away a perfectly goot Norvegian."
Soon they drove under a bridge. Two Swedes standing on the bridge saw this sight pass beneath them. One remarked, "Vell vould you look at dat! Someboty trew away a perfectly goot Norvegian."
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faygo
- Video Poker Master
- Posts: 2925
- Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:55 am
Two young snakes were talking. One asked the other, "Say, are we poisonous?"
"Yes, we are," replied the second snake. "Why do you ask?"
"Because," the first one replied, "I just bit my my tongue."
"Yes, we are," replied the second snake. "Why do you ask?"
"Because," the first one replied, "I just bit my my tongue."
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wilcoxfun
- Senior Member
- Posts: 472
- Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 4:10 pm
Larry died. His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sarah turned to her oldest and dearest friend. 'Well, I'm sure Larry would be pleased,' she said. 'I'm sure you're right,' replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. 'How much did this really cost?' 'All of it,' said Sarah. 'Forty thousand.' 'No!' Jody exclaimed. 'I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?' Sarah answered, 'The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church.. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.' Jody computed quickly. '$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? My God, how big is it?' 'Four and a half carats.'
