Say a funny joke

Talk about your new shoes, new car, or UFO's!
Post Reply
bear4
Forum Regular
Posts: 68
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:59 pm

Re: Say a funny joke

Post by bear4 »

A woman ,standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly.  Pay me a compliment".
 
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".
 
He NEVER heard the shot.

Eduardo
Video Poker Master
Posts: 2963
Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:19 pm

Post by Eduardo »



Okay, THAT's a joke I'm going to have to use sometime!
 

MikeA
Video Poker Master
Posts: 1615
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:50 pm

Post by MikeA »




Okay, THAT's a joke I'm going to have to use sometime!
 
Not ME!  I'm trying hard to totally forget it lest I actually do use it!

bear4
Forum Regular
Posts: 68
Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2006 4:59 pm

Post by bear4 »

I'm still feeling some discomfort when the bullet rattles around in my empty head

jm002546
Senior Member
Posts: 398
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:13 am

Post by jm002546 »

 Thus arose the expression "get the lead out."

chuck arl
Senior Member
Posts: 107
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:39 am

Post by chuck arl »

as Rodney D. would say,"If it wasn't for pickpockets, I wouldn't have any sex life at all!"---CWA---

oej719
Video Poker Master
Posts: 1777
Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 5:46 pm

Post by oej719 »

If big breasted gals work at hooters, where do one legged gals work?


I HOP!!!!!

faygo
Video Poker Master
Posts: 2925
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:55 am

Post by faygo »

Sven and Ole went into the garbage hauling business. All they had for a truck was Sven's 1949 Ford pickup with the grain sides on it. They had just filled it to the top and started out for the dump when they were stopped by a Patrolman. Garbage was blowing off the top of their load, the officer said, if they didn't find a way to hold it down, he was going to give them a ticket. So, Ole climbed up on top and sprawled spread-eagle over the garbage.
Soon they drove under a bridge. Two Swedes standing on the bridge saw this sight pass beneath them. One remarked, "Vell vould you look at dat! Someboty trew away a perfectly goot Norvegian."

faygo
Video Poker Master
Posts: 2925
Joined: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:55 am

Post by faygo »

Two young snakes were talking. One asked the other, "Say, are we poisonous?"
"Yes, we are," replied the second snake. "Why do you ask?"
"Because," the first one replied, "I just bit my  my tongue."

wilcoxfun
Senior Member
Posts: 472
Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 4:10 pm

Post by wilcoxfun »

 Larry died.  His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral.  As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sarah turned to her oldest and dearest friend.  'Well, I'm sure Larry would be pleased,' she said. 'I'm sure you're right,' replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.  'How much did this really cost?'  'All of it,' said Sarah.  'Forty thousand.' 'No!' Jody exclaimed.  'I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?'  Sarah answered, 'The funeral was $6,500.  I donated $500 to church..  The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500.  The rest went for the Memorial Stone.' Jody computed quickly.  '$32,500 for a Memorial Stone?  My God, how big is it?'       'Four and a half carats.'

Post Reply